Tons of Fun

Continuing on to our Hot Days of Summer segment. That’s right. We’ve been getting a lot of e-mails from concerned Austinites on how to stay hot during this intense summer heat, so we’ve put together a list of helpful hints for those of you finding it difficult to join the heat during the summer.

• Parking your car in shadeless, outside areas and keeping the windows rolled up.
• Smoking packs and packs of cigarettes and put them out on yourself. This will also help the environment because all the ash will be burned into your skin rather than polluting the soil.
• Rarely do people wear masks anymore but 30%-40% of our body heat is lost through our head. Put on a mask and enjoy the heat even more as you feel a sort of mini-greenhouse gas effect around your face.
• Growing a beard.
• Starting bonfires.
• Leave the gas from your stove on and leave a lit candle in the other room.
• Nuclear technology.
• Brad Pitt technology.
• Committing sins.
• Dying.
• Getting electrocuted.
• Sitting in metal chairs.
• Install large magnifying glasses.
• Learning Spanish. Muy caliente.

You know, you wouldn’t think it but another way we can join the heat is by getting rid of as much water as possible. That’s right. 70% of our bodies are made of water. Think about all that extra weight. Not to mention that water is responsible for some of the coldest environments in the world: Artic, Antartic, Norway, the leftern hemisphere, Austin, UT.

• The American Family Council on Water Usage and Abusage or AFCWUA (stutter) says, “water is easiliest transported in solid form.” So turn on a hose and place it in your freezer and leave it on overnight. Come morning, you have a nice big portable block of frozen water that you can easily place on the street or out for the garbage people.
• And be sure to stick a note on it that says “Garbage” in quotations so they know. Also, I reccommend 1 hour shower minimums. Think about all that awesome time in the shower and you’ll be doing your part to keep warm.
• Don’t forget about all that water vapor that our families unknowingly breathe in every day. A good way to battle water vapor body contamination, AFCWUA recommends not breathing around water. If you must breathe, stay at least 5 miles away from all sources of water.
• Keep your lungs course and dry. Also, increased Desertification of major water hot zones like the Amazon.
• Don’t share urine.
• Don’t blink.
• Spit as often as possible.
• Try to keep your mouth dry. The saltine cracker diet helps. Saltine cracker diets.

That’s it for keeping yourself hot during the summer heat!

Tune in as Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate from Texas, Rick Noriega will be joining us for an interview at 930PM, Wednesday night. The five-term former Texas House Representative who served in Afghanistan after 9/11 will face incumbent Republican Sen. John Cornyn in November. We’ll post a podcast of the interview afterwards.

Have any questions you’d like to ask him? Leave a response, and we’ll see what we can do.

Also, according to an e-mail from University Democrats, Lt. Colonel Noriega is having a rally tomorrow morning:

At 11:00 AM, at the West Mall Rally Space, Rick Noriega will be holding a press conference to unveil his energy plan that promises bold solutions to today’s energy crisis.

And, for your enjoyment, we present the second installment of Turban Heat: Outsourced Justice.

Narrator……….Jordan Bjostad
Detective Pubarti al-Shalihandri……….Abhinav Kumar
Police Chief Bill Billferson……….Jordan Bjostad
Elian Blorgriguez……….Abhinav Kumar
Scoot McCoot……….Jordan Bjostad
The Professor……….Jon Roberts

Written and Edited By Abhinav Kumar & Jordan Bjostad
Produced by Abhinav Kumar, Jordan Bjostad & Jon Roberts

 

 Turban Heat: Outsourced Justice - Dynamite Recorder: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

T-HOJ is back! That’s right - after a one year, four month hiatus, Tons of Fun will be airing episode two of the made-for-radio TV police comedy show Turban Heat: Outsourced Justice. Join us as Detective Pubarti al-Shalihandri embarks upon his latest adventure to stop a murder on the UT campus, featuring Elian Blorgrigueweiasz - Pubarti’s new sidekick!

TONS OF FUN is on the air this summer, every Wednesday 930PM-10PM.

You know, I was looking at the news last night and this morning, and I noticed that Senator Obama has named himself the Democratic Party’s nominee for the presidency. And it was kind of funny because these past few months everybody’s been talking about how we’re going to have to wait until late August – when the actual convention takes place. Everybody’s been talking about the primaries and how everybody’s vote counts, and that we’re going to nominate the party’s presidential candidate at the convention. You know?

Anyways, I see now that I must have missed something because according to CNN and FOXNews and all those guys, Senator Obama nominated himself very recently. I didn’t know that was all you had to do. You know? I just – and I think it’s great because it opens up the door for so many of us – and – you know what? I’m going to try something. Okay. Here we go. I don’t know if this will work, but let’s see. I’m ready. I hope it will. I think it will. Here we go.

[Breathe.]

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m gathered here today to join myself in holy matrimony as I nominate myself as the Democratic Party’s candidate for the presidency. Son of a bitch – it worked! I’m the Democratic nominee for the president! Holy crap.

This is great. Hope, faith, change – I want all of that. Boy, I’m going to bring something to the table that no one has ever brought before. Hopeful change, faithful hope, hopeful faith, faithful change, a change full of faithful hope, hopelessness of changeful faith, faithful hope-change, hope that I’m going to change the faith, and all kinds of crap that no one even knows what I’m talking about.

I don’t want a red America or a blue America. I don’t want a liberal America or a conservative America. I don’t want a left America or a right America. I don’t want a black America or a brown America. I don’t want a Jewish America or a Muslim America. I don’t want Chinese America or an Indian America. I don’t want polluted America or an environmentally sustainable America. I don’t want an Iraqi America or an Israeli America. I don’t want an African America or a Mexican America. I want change and faith and hope and change and faith and change.

I say – something like – let’s see, uh. I’m not asking you to believe in my ability to change America, I’m asking you to believe in your ability to vote for me so that I can change faith and hope America faithhopechange.

I just wanna win so bad, you know?

Interested in reporting for an award-winning news radio show at KVRX? In the Know airs every Wednesday from 7PM-730PM during the summer and is taking on news reporters (no previous experience is necessary - we will train you).

E-mail news@kvrx.org.

I also want to leave you with a piece from my favorite editorial cartoonist, Mr. Fish:

Note: This post is not an endorsement of Sen. Hillary Clinton for any public office, nor is it an endorsement of Sens. Barack Obama or John McCain for any public office. Rather, it is the appreciation of an independent cartoonist.

Good year for Tons of Fun on KVRX. Two Pledge Drives, Kinky Friedman, Sen. Mike Gravel, local elections, weird artists, good musicians and dumb stuff. The first season in the fall of Tons of Fun was where we launched Turban Heat: Outsourced Justice - a made-for-TV radio show about an Indian detective’s journeys in America working as an outsourced police office.

Don’t know what’s the plan is for next year. I have spent two years at KVRX bouncing around from interest to interest, department to department. I have had a lot of freedom with this show and a lot of fun…you may say I’ve had tons of fun. The second season also received an honorable mention award in public affairs radio from the Texas Intercollegiate Press Association.

Though I’m sure I’ll keep blogging during the summer, I leave you with these two videos. The first features music by Matt Dayton - a music video documenting the media’s degeneration and the perpetuation of a common enemy. The second is about the role of the actor in the War on Terror.

Apparently, Rodriguez went down to shoot this film during the summer in Mexico as a student with seven grand (from medical research studies) and 25 rolls of film. His professor back in 1990 told him “Anything can happen.”

After filming in the summer, he used the local cable public-access editing lab to slice and dice the film. Rodriguez had to edit El Mariachi using linear editing at night in the fall semester.

Donning his trademark black, cowboy hat, the former UT RTF undergrad opened with a joke: for all students to turn in their homework - a fully edited screenplay.

Q1: Once upon a time, when you were a student at UT, we, in our infinite wisdom, didn’t let you enroll in the film classes.Your grades weren’t high enough to get into the film program. What should students do?

A1: Basically, Rodriguez said he didn’t bother with the prerequisites; he just made a film that won an award, beating the very students in the class that he was barred from taking. After getting in the Film 1 class, he made a his film Bedhead on old WWII-era camera equipment. Rod also reflected on the nature of his competition in the film program. When one of his classmates scoffed at Rod’s desire to use animation for the opening scene in Bedhead, Rodriguez responded:

“Aim high, and you’ll hit high…Who cares about the assignment? I’m trying to make a great film here.”